Conquering the Air: How I went from Crying as I Boarded to (almost) Cool as a Cucumber

Conquering the Air: How I went from Crying as I Boarded to (almost) Cool as a Cucumber

How many people here are terrified of flying, raise your hands! (My hand shoots into the air!) Now, granted, I’m not afraid of the stuff that normal people are afraid of. I trust the plane, I trust the pilot, I’m not afraid of crashing, or of turbulence, or of the whole thing spontaneously combusting in mid-air… Whoops, probably scared some of you more there… sorry… Anyways, I’m not afraid of crashes. I’m afraid of being stuck inside a big flying cylinder with 200 people, and having an unexpected panic attack. Why? Because honestly? People judge. I don’t care what you say, when I’m next to a stranger on an airplane, and I’m sitting there sweating, and shaking, and freaking out, they look at me and 9 time out of 10, they’re thinking “What the heck is wrong with this woman!?!”

So when I moved to Tennessee and realized I would be flying a lot more than once every couple of years, and often by myself, I went into panic mode. We are talking, full on, called my mom, sitting on the bathroom floor, wailing, Panic. But then my always helpful good friend and counselor, Nancy Olsen, got ahold of me. See, the cool thing about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, (The type of therapy I’m in) is that it is based on evidence and training. So off on a grand adventure I went!

In counseling, Nancy and I came up with a plan for when I would fly. We created back-up plans to my back-up plans, and practiced seeing tiny improvements as successes. And that’s the important part. We decided that each time, I would set a small goal, and if I accomplished that goal, I would choose to see the whole trip as a success. To help me with these successes, I needed a few things; Zipper, Dramamine, prescription anti-anxiety meds, and my trusty flying backpack kit.

First, Zipper. Having Zipper flying with me gives me something to focus on besides my anxiety. I have to focus on taking care of him, and making sure his needs are met. I also have to make sure that I’m protecting him from evil rolling suitcases and those little club car things that race around everywhere in the terminal. Zipper is also trained to help me in a panic attack, by getting on my lap and laying on my chest. His weight is calming and helps me come down from an attack much faster. Also, if I get stranded somewhere, I don’t panic because I’m alone, since I have Zipper with me. Trust me, he’s worth his weight in Gold during layovers and delays.

Second, Meds. Now, I wrote a piece a few months back talking about medication, and how I’m not a huge fan, but I’m taking it now to help me through a rough patch in my life. Well, I consider planes to be an exception to the rule. Whatever will help me get through a plane ride without and anxiety attack is something to use. I don’t drink alcohol so meds are the next best thing. Obviously, all of these medications have been approved by my doctor, and you should always talk to a doctor before taking new medications. I get motion sick on top of having anxiety, so I usually take one dramamine about an hour before my flight is scheduled to depart. Then I have my prescription on hand to take if I feel an attack starting to come on.

Third, My trusty flying backpack kit. What is in my flying backpack kit you may ask? All of the distraction and entertainment I could ask for. Movies and puzzle games downloaded onto my ipad, actual physical puzzle games, headphones, a good book, a journal and pen, my favorite stuffed animal, and usually some kind of bready, salty, snack. This way no matter what, I have something fun to do.

Which leads me to the final piece of my plan. I get to do things on the plane that I never allow myself to do on the ground. I have one particular jigsaw puzzle game that I LOVE. It’s called Magic Puzzles and its soooo addicting. But to help myself look forward to flying, I’m only allowed to play that game when I’m on the plane. This is a great mind trick to play with yourself and I truly recommend it!

The first task that I had to complete was to get myself into the airport and onto a plane where I could practice. I highly recommend avoiding practicing completely by yourself like I did, but I was kind of forced into a situation where I had to fly alone on my first big trip. I was headed back to Tennessee, by myself. I got to the airport early, so that I could make sure nothing would go wrong enough to prevent me from boarding. I was determined to make this work, so into the airport I walked, with my head held high and Zipper prancing along beside me, like we owned the place. I truly believe confidence is everything, and if I believe I can do it, then I can.

I’m not going to say that it was easy, in fact my first solo trip was interrupted partway by an unexpected 13 hour layover in San Francisco, by myself, with no one to help me stay sane, so it was FAR FROM EASY. But I like to say that even though I cried my way through almost the whole 24 hours, it was a success. Why? Because I accomplished my small goal, of “Getting on the Plane.” Once I did that, it didn’t matter because I had chosen to set that goal as my measure for success. I also learned so much about Flying and airports on that trip that I didn’t know before. For example, don’t run for a flight if you only have 5 minutes, because the boarding doors will be closed already. Just find a ticket counter and have someone help you book a new flight.

I’m also very grateful for the Flight Staff on almost all of my flights. On that first flight, the attendant let me sit with her on her jump seat for most of the flight and talked to me because I was so nervous. They are also very helpful when it comes to getting Zipper where he needs to be and with stowing my luggage. They fly for a living, so if you are nervous, TELL THEM. They are usually really good about checking in with you and making sure you’re doing okay.

Finally, Practice makes perfect. Try to go on as many flights as you can, and see some incredible new places. Exposure therapy truly works, and the more you expose yourself to things that make you uncomfortable, the more you will find that they don’t scare you as much anymore.

I’m still nervous when flying, but I don’t cry as we take off anymore, and once I even fell asleep during the flight! So yay! It’s all about putting in the work and reaping the rewards!

Happy Flying!

Kyra

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Our little set up when we fly. My feet go on either side of him.

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Chill-ish as a cucumber!

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During our 13 hour Surprise Layover.

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Reap the Rewards! What a beautiful View!

 

Spire: A New-age Anxiety Gadget

Spire: A New-age Anxiety Gadget

I love trying out new things that might help with my anxiety. My motto is, “If you don’t try it, you will never know.” I’ll try anything once, (within reason! you tell me that swimming cage-free with sharks cured your anxiety, and I’ll tell you I’m so glad it worked for you but that I will definitely PASS on that!) and even if it doesn’t help me, that doesn’t mean it won’t help SOMEONE. So I try to keep an open mind with various coping mechanisms and gadgets. I personally think everyone with anxiety should be open to trying things within their personal boundaries, because who knows what might work for you!?

My previous counselor in Oregon, (Shout-out to the fabulous Nancy Olson, she’s seriously amazing!) knows that I like trying new things, and that I’m usually open to giving anything a try. With that in mind, we send a lot of “Cool Finds” back and forth, whether it’s new research, a new coping mechanism, or a cool story, etc. A few months ago, I had sent her an info link about a new product out on the market called Spire. I had thought it looked pretty cool, but it was a little out of my budget at the time, and I wasn’t sure how it worked or if it even looked legit, so I passed up buying it. She ended up purchasing one for her office, and when I visited in June, she asked if I wouldn’t mind trying it out and giving her some feedback on how it works. I was totally game, and told I her I would try it for a few weeks and let her know when I got back to Oregon in August.IMG_9529

What is Spire?

So what is Spire? It’s a small, oval shaped breath and activity tracker, that monitors your breathing and heart rate, and lets you know when your body is experiencing a whole host of conditions, such as tension, calm, focus, and activity. It’s not just for people with anxiety, but also for those who want to optimize their time, or for those who experience a lot of stress every day. It works by helping the wearer to be more mindful, and gives feedback at the end of the day.

 

What does it do?

According to the website, Spire is designed to “help keep you in sync with your mind and body by measuring your breath, all day, and alerting you to sudden changes.” You wear it either on your center bra strap, or hooked to the top of your underpants, in a place where it can “feel” your breathing. I tried it first on my bra, but it kept telling me to reposition, so I tried the underwear and it worked flawlessly after that. It needs a slightly different spot for each person, since no body is the same, so play around with it until you find the place where you get the most consistent readings.

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As you breathe, the Spire will monitor your breath patterns, and identify them as Calm, Tense, or Focused. When it identifies a change in the pattern of your breathing, it will note it, vibrate the signal that corresponds to that pattern, and send a notification to your phone via the free app. Especially if you are tense, knowing right away can allow you to take a few moments to change your breath and calm your body down. It also lets you know when you have had a calm or focused streak, so you can hone in on what you were doing to achieve that state-of-mind.

As a side-note function, Spire also tracks your activity level, and reminds you to get up and move. I found this function slightly irritating, but I also couldn’t figure out how to program it correctly, so it was telling me to move every 10 minutes. I’m sure there is a feature to change this, but as it was a trial, I didn’t want to mess with it TOO much.

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What did I think? The Good News

I wore the Spire for a solid 2 weeks, everyday, from morning until around 8pm. For the most part, it was very comfortable, I hardly knew it was there. I was a little concerned because it has the texture of a stone, and I thought it might be irritating to have a stone against my skin all day, but surprisingly, I barely felt it. The only time I didn’t like wearing it was when I was laying on my stomach, watching a movie, because it pressed into my hip bone, so I would just remove it, and let it sit beside me, or put it back on my bra for that time.

As far as managing my breathing, I think it’s a pretty cool little device, but it wasn’t super helpful for me personally. I’ve had anxiety and panic attacks for 10 years now, and one of ┬áthe first things you learn in counseling is how to monitor your feelings and breathing. I’ve always used breathing to help me cope with my anxiety, so it wasn’t that Spire didn’t help, it’s just that it was telling me information I already knew. However, I did REALLY like the breathing game that the free app uses to help you calm your breathing. You breathe with your Spire on, and it corresponds in real time to a game on your phone designed to help you slow and control your breathing. It was super helpful a few times when I really needed a visual aid to help me focus my breathing.

The tension setting is nifty as well. It feels when you start to tense and sends a message to your phone. This would be a very useful tool for someone who is new to the anxiety game and doesn’t notice when they start to escalate. The device lets you know you’re feeling tense by vibrating two long buzzes, and then the message prompts you to open the app and play the breathing game. I can see this being a great tool to help you learn to recognize panic attacks before they hit full force and to take some preemptive measures.

A side note, charging your Spire is SUPER easy! It comes with a wireless charger, so you just take it off and set it on the charger. The charger even has a port to plug your cell phone charger to it, to keep your charging space clutter free!

 

The Not-So-Good News

There were only two problems I saw with this device in the short time that I wore it. The first one I have already mentioned, and that is that the activity tracker kept prompting me to move around WAY more than it needed to. It was sometimes distracting when I was trying to focus on something at my desk. However, like I said before, I’m sure this can be changed in settings if you purchase your own.

The second issue I had was that while it’s super useful to know when you are tense, sometimes your breathing is tense when your body isn’t. For example, Spire can’t tell the difference between the beginning of a panic attack and the suspense of Frodo and Golem struggling at the top of Mordor in Lord of the Rings. I found that even when I was reading a novel and it was a suspenseful part, Spire would tell me I was feeling tense. I’m like “I KNOW SPIRE, KING HENRY IS GOING TO FREAK OUT ON ANNE BOLYEN, IT’S KIND OF AN INTENSE THING!” But it’s better safe than sorry, and you can always just ignore the notifications if you feel like it’s a false alarm.

The End Review:

All in all, I would definitely recommend this device to anyone who is looking for help becoming more mindful and noticing when they are feeling tense. I will probably not be purchasing one, simply because I don’t think I would put enough effort in to really get anything that I don’t already do on a daily basis out of it. But Spire is also great for people without anxiety, because it can help you understand what you need to do to keep yourself focused in on your tasks, and it’s activity reminder could be great in the corporate setting. It’s just a very useful tool for anyone who wants a little extra help with mindfulness, and how much you get out of it depends on how much effort you put in to use it. If you end up trying it, let me know in the comments or in an email what you think of it! I would love to hear if it worked for you, and let me know if there are any products you would like me to try!

Many thanks to Nancy for always suggesting new and exciting things for me to try, and for being such an amazing Counselor!

You can read all about Spire on their website here

You can read User Testimonials here

You can get more information about Nancy Olson here

Cheers!

Kyra